The Recession Is Over: A Timeline

The Great Recession -- or the worst economic climate since the Great Depression -- has been a beast for the past several years, and it seems to keep getting worse. Americans have a desire to put an deadline or end date on things only to have those words later bite them in the ass. Thinks Bush's Mission: Accomplished speech. Or Britney's promise to remain a virgin. Or Brett Farve.

The recession was declared over in 2009 or 2010, depending on what report you read. Many economists lay claim to June 2009, which is funny because that was the first month I drew unemployment.

So why are we still bitching? Because it sure doesn't feel over. The AP states that household incomes have fallen more since the official declaration than in the actual recession itself. See the story here http://www.stltoday.com/news/national/834c650d-e155-577d-8b4e-e1ce51cb1f52.html


What shall we call this repeated recession then? Recession Part Deux? The Recession Strikes Back? Honey, I Shrunk the Economy?

Ms. Streep, what are your thoughts?

Temp Agencies and Unemployment and Urine

I had a job interview this week. Nothing fancy, but a local job recruiting agency was looking for people to fill some clerical positions that they had open. Cool, I thought. I can do clerical.

I got my interview time slot and arrived approximately 10 minutes early. I kind of had to tinkle, so I looked for a public restroom. The receptionist was busy, and I was early so I thought might as well take care of business. There was only one toilet and the last occupier apparently didn't know how to use the flusher. Ew, but I had to go so I took the courtesy.

Then I read the signs around me about drug testing, and I realized how badly I had effed up.

And when the other workers saw what I did, they gave me dirty looks. I guess I literally pissed them off.

Here is what you need to know about temp agencies -- follow the rules. If you are laid off from a job and qualify for unemployment, contact that agency every week to see if they have work for you. If you don't and the Department of Employment Security finds out, you will be considered as refusing work and you will be cut off. I suggest getting an e-mail address and keeping your requests to just e-mail messaging, so that way you will have a written documentation of your contact.

Be prepared for drug tests. And more drug tests. They do tons of drug tests. Some are survey questions that are meant to detect the dishonest, and others are the pee-in-the-cup kind. I had to submit to a hair follicle test for one assignment, and the nurse administering the test took off a huge chuck. So huge that a year later, a hair stylist asked me why I had such stubby growth in one of my layers.

I don't think I am going to get work from this agency. One, the woman who interviewed me was apparently the same worker who administered the aforementioned flushed test, and two, she was supposed to send me an e-mail clerical test and to date, I have not received the contact.

Oh, well. Meryl, do you have any temp jobs for me?

Back in the Saddle

I was thinking about this blog again and decided to continue it after a hellish few months. After much reflecting, I have come to realize that my time without work has helped me become a master of the job impaired workforce. What I plan to do is to offer some helpful advice while also poking fun at a few stories I have heard along the way (many I personally experienced). My goal is to at least post once a week. These stories are meant to be humorous but also give a snapshot into the type of world and economy we are now living in. Because being jobless is depressing enough as it is. You don't need another place to drag you further down in the dumps.

And if a certain actress happens to come across this little blog, well, I am still available for work.

That is, if she can afford me.

Introduction: Why Meryl Streep Needs to Hire Me

Hello to all those in the blogosphere. My name is Leah, and I know all too well how hard the job market is. I have been unemployed off and on for thirteen months now. My story began in May 2009 after the insurance company I was working for laid me off. I picked myself up by the bootstraps, filed for benefits and worked odds and ends jobs until I found a job I loved at a community college.

Unfortunately (and how unfortunate I would later realize), I couldn't keep that job either. The temp agency that I had worked with had another position for me, and I had to take it. It was a pay cut, and I had to reenter the same place I was dismissed just four months prior. But it was a job.

On December 30, I was called to my supervisor's desk. She asked me about a claim I had submitted. To preference this conversation, you must understand that this was not the easiest job I have ever had. I was working 50 plus hours a week for two months with mandatory overtime. We were to key 500 claims a day. Just weeks before I had my first quality assurance review. I passed most checks but I was told I needed to be faster with my claims. Okie dokie. Faster. I can do faster.

Back to the meeting: My supervisor asked me if I remembered this one claim. Sorry none of them stick out, I said. She told me to look closer and said I had to give a reason I did what I did. I looked at the screen and realized that I had mistakenly changed the name of the patient to Meryl Streep.

Whoops. I apologized, told her I did not even remember making that mistake and assured that I would be more careful in the future. The claim didn't pay out. No doctor received a payment for services rendered for an Academy award-winning actress. No harm. No foul, right? How can one mistake after being nearly perfect cost me a job? Surely not.

Wrong. I was fired. Gone. Just like that. But at least they waited a couple more hours for me to keep keying and working. I was told to go home for the day at lunch and call the temp agency. As I grabbed my coat, I made sure to get my photographs together because I knew then I would never set foot in that building again.

My story is not out of the ordinary (well, maybe the Meryl Streep part). There are thousands of us dislocated workers out there. I started this blog in hopes of sharing some of the information that I have learned while drawing unemployment.

And to Ms. Streep: I am multi-talented and could do any job. I would make an excellent press agent or personal assistant. I would do almost anything for a job. Except windows. I don't do windows.