Temp Agencies and Unemployment and Urine

I had a job interview this week. Nothing fancy, but a local job recruiting agency was looking for people to fill some clerical positions that they had open. Cool, I thought. I can do clerical.

I got my interview time slot and arrived approximately 10 minutes early. I kind of had to tinkle, so I looked for a public restroom. The receptionist was busy, and I was early so I thought might as well take care of business. There was only one toilet and the last occupier apparently didn't know how to use the flusher. Ew, but I had to go so I took the courtesy.

Then I read the signs around me about drug testing, and I realized how badly I had effed up.

And when the other workers saw what I did, they gave me dirty looks. I guess I literally pissed them off.

Here is what you need to know about temp agencies -- follow the rules. If you are laid off from a job and qualify for unemployment, contact that agency every week to see if they have work for you. If you don't and the Department of Employment Security finds out, you will be considered as refusing work and you will be cut off. I suggest getting an e-mail address and keeping your requests to just e-mail messaging, so that way you will have a written documentation of your contact.

Be prepared for drug tests. And more drug tests. They do tons of drug tests. Some are survey questions that are meant to detect the dishonest, and others are the pee-in-the-cup kind. I had to submit to a hair follicle test for one assignment, and the nurse administering the test took off a huge chuck. So huge that a year later, a hair stylist asked me why I had such stubby growth in one of my layers.

I don't think I am going to get work from this agency. One, the woman who interviewed me was apparently the same worker who administered the aforementioned flushed test, and two, she was supposed to send me an e-mail clerical test and to date, I have not received the contact.

Oh, well. Meryl, do you have any temp jobs for me?